


You Gotta Love Like There's No Such Things as a Broken Heart

by WolvenFighter



Category: Dream Daddy: A Dad Dating Simulator
Genre: Anal Fingering, Anal Sex, Blow Jobs, Cancer, Divorce, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Emotional Sex, Fluff, Fluff and Smut, Hate Sex, Homosexual Suppression, Implied/Referenced Abortion, Infidelity, M/M, Mentions of Abortion, Original Character Death(s), Religious Conflict, Religious Guilt, Yaoi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-08-21
Updated: 2017-08-21
Packaged: 2018-12-18 02:19:44
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 16,724
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11864601
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/WolvenFighter/pseuds/WolvenFighter
Summary: In the span of a week, Eros Tyndall's life had been blown to shreds. One day, he was falling in love with his neighbor, the next not only did the man drop him like a ton of bricks to be miserable with his wife, but he was diagnosed with terminal cancer... How was he going to tell his daughter who has no one?But, not even a Youth Pastor's life is perfect, infidelities, abortion and the realization that the love of his life got away...Something's gotta give...





	You Gotta Love Like There's No Such Things as a Broken Heart

**Author's Note:**

> Hey, guys, this is definitely one of my more dedicated works, I know this has some distressing and depressing content but I promise it's worth the read (I think). Eros is my favorite roleplay character, which is why I always sign my name off as Eros, hopefully, you will love him as much as I do.
> 
> Enjoy this emotional rollercoaster.~
> 
> -Eros

_I-I'm sorry Mr. Tyndall... At this point, there isn't much we can do... We can try Chemotherapy and Radiation but... You may want to get your affairs in order._

* * *

_Eros I... I have to try and make things work with my wife... I will always cherish these moments I had with you but... My family needs me..._

* * *

Eros sat quietly on his couch, in the span of a week his life had been blown to pieces... Though he could have seen the situation with Joseph coming, he was practically a fucking priest with a wife and four kids. Nevermind his wife was a whore and he was miserable... Despite Eros being so bitter and angry he understood, he probably would have done the same thing if his wife were still alive and he had an affair, though he was never miserable enough with his wife to have an affair.

"Dad..? Dad!" Amanda barked and Eros blinked, looking over at his graduated daughter, she had no knowledge of his fate and he had no plans on telling her even though he knew he needed to.

"Sorry Panda, what was that?" He questioned back as he sat up to better listen to his only daughter.

"Dad are you alright..? You've been kinda quiet the past week..." She muttered.

"Yeah, yeah I just haven't been sleeping well..." Eros said, managing a small smile.

He remembered feeling an ache in his hip... And his oncologist sitting across from her desk looking at his results with somber eyes... The look on her face said it all. However as Amanda went back to her usual chipper self and began discussing her obnoxious teenage life that he was honestly so happy to hear about on a daily basis, he wasn't listening to her this time... He was looking at her face, focusing on every detail and trying to remember her chubby baby fat when she was born... As if it were the last time he was seeing it.

* * *

_How long do I have?_

_... If you decide to refuse chemo... Probably between six and nine months._

_And if I decide to fight?_

_Well, it's hard to say... You are a healthy man, no past of addiction or major health issues... But chemotherapy affects everyone differently it can be anywhere between three months and a year._

_What's your suggestion?_

_W-Well everyone takes this differently but-_

_Look... Dr. Angela... I have a daughter starting her first year of college... And if there are no good outcomes... I will refuse treatment and allow my life insurance to cash out to her as my beneficiary I don't want my kid suffering crippling debt by herself, she already has no one as it is... So be straight with me..._

_I... Suggest that you... Think hard... But I don't see many good outcomes with cancer this progressive, so quickly._

_That's all I needed to know... Thank you, doctor..._

* * *

"Oh my god dad you aren't listening again!" Amanda groaned and Eros winced.

"M-Maybe I just need to take a walk... Wanna come with me?" He asked, standing despite the ache radiating in his hip and in his side he couldn't stay in this house any longer.

"Sure... Dad, remember when you were there for me with the Emma and Noah situation..? I-I can be there for you too you know..." She said as Eros turned away.

His heart was shattering and his body was dying... Tears welled up in his eyes but for once, when it truly mattered, he kept it in. He just took a breath and looked to Amanda with a small chuckle.

"... Not now..." He muttered and Amanda took a step back.

"Dad did... Something happen with Joseph at the party..? You guys were hanging out so much and suddenly after the party... You barely leave the house and he never comes by... Oh, my God, did he have an affair with you!?" Amanda asked with a hint of excitement.

"A-Amanda Ann!" Eros gasped with a blush of both nervousness and shame.

"Oh my  _God_  he did!"

"Amanda this isn't appropriate for us to discuss-"

"Dad, please! Please, please, please! You always lecture me on making good choices and being honest, please tell me!" She said.

Eros paused and sighed, Amanda was an adult now and they had always been closer than most dads and daughters but he wasn't sure if he was comfortable discussing his sex life with his  _daughter_. He could leave out the... Orgasmic details but she had a point and he was both proud and bitter that she was using his work against him.

"A-Alright but... Look what we did was wrong alright?" He asked.

"What, doing sex things-"

"Amanda," Eros growled and cringed.

"What I'm being genuine I'm not trying to be crude... You know it's okay to be gay..." She muttered.

"I-It's not what we did... Well, it is... Look he's married and has four kids... It wasn't right and I should  _never_  have let him-" Eros sighed and rubbed his head, the excitement draining from his daughter's features.

_I shouldn't have let him in..._

"... He hurt you... Didn't he..?" She asked softly and Eros released a pain filled breath.

"... Yes... He did Amanda... But it was my fault-"

"What? Dad listen to yourself!" Amanda snapped, earning a shocked look coming from Eros' features as he looked at his daughter. "What about all that crap you were telling me about how real friends don't do that kind of shit! I-I know it's different because he's married and he's a pastor or some crap but dad it's the same principle... I can't believe you'd let someone hurt you like this and try to justify it..." She scolded.

"Amanda you don't know the full story..." Eros said tiredly.

"... I can see it on your face... Dad, don't be a hypocrite I love you too much for that." Amanda said and Eros smiled proudly despite the anger he felt inside at Joseph and himself.

"... When did you get to be so damn wise?" He asked quietly.

"... I learned from the best..." Amanda said with a grinned and Eros sighed, wrapping an arm around her shoulders.

"Well, you were right about one thing... I've barely left the house in over a month... Why don't we go get a couple of burritos?" He asked and Amanda beamed a grin.

"Count me in! Can we walk? It's so nice outside." Amanda asked and Eros hesitated, the pain in his hip was getting worse by the day and was spreading but... He couldn't say anything yet.

"Of course, lead the way darlin'." Eros chuckled softly and locked the door behind them and looking to the beach.

He had to admit, the view from this house was incredible but... The bay never looked so far away, catching up with Amanda the two walked down the sidewalk, Eros pausing as they were ready to pass Joseph's house as he saw the blonde man walk out to get something out of the car. No. He couldn't be weak. He held his head up as high as possible and Amanda gave him a sideways glance.

Joseph looked over and couldn't help but smile, shutting the trunk as he carried a duffle back underneath his left arm as he waved with his right.

"Eros! Amanda, how are you two doing?" He asked, Eros was so fucking angry that he could just pretend everything was normal... That nothing had changed.

"Fine, Joseph thanks," Amanda said and Eros smiled thankfully to his daughter, out of the two, he had always been the most level headed but... He was happy to see that Amanda took the reigns this time.

"Oh hey! Wait!" Joseph called as they passed his house and Eros reluctantly stopped, turning to face the other man as he jogged over to them.

Eros just felt enraged, enraged at Joseph for looking so fucking perfect... And angry at himself that he still wanted to blush in his presence.

"I'm having another barbecue this weekend, you wanna join us?" He asked, his eyes meeting Eros' he was truly genuinely excited to hear Eros' response after all.

"... Amanda might... But I think I'm gonna pass... Thank you though, Joseph." Eros said, watching Joseph's expression falter a bit.

"W-Well... I just wanted you to know you were welcome..." He said softly.

"... Thanks." Eros stated before quickly turning away from the blonde haired Adonis before Amanda quickly followed suit.

Amanda walked in silence for a few blocks. She looked up at her father, worry in her chocolate gaze. She gulped and shoved her hands in her pockets for a few moments before the silence was too much to bear.

"Dad... Are you gonna be okay when I leave?" She asked and Eros furrowed his brows and stopped in his tracks, staring down at her.

"Why would you ask me that?" He questioned back.

"Because seeing... That, I'm worried about you dad... A-After mom-"

"Look." Eros quickly interrupted. "... This is nothing more than high school drama... And I refuse to allow you to throw your future away because your dad did something stupid." He chuckled and rested his hands on her shoulders sternly and Amanda sighed, nodding as she knew there was no way he was budging. "I will be fine..." He lied and Amanda smiled weakly before Eros swung an arm around her again as they walked.

* * *

Joseph watched Eros and Amanda walk off, the resentment and distrust in Eros' beautiful... Luminescent emerald gaze was almost too much to handle. He felt so guilty knowing that he was the one who made the selfish decision to use Eros and fracture his already wavering marriage... And then to drop Eros, despite it being the most painful thing he's ever done. He sighed and walked back inside and was thankful that he avoided the scornful gaze of his wife that he had righteously earned while she was away.

He had prayed, begged for forgiveness, beginning to reread the bible and dedicate more of his time to the church, not like he had much spare time as it was... But the thought of returning to the yacht where he and Eros made love... It was too painful and he managed to convince Mary to allow him to stay in the guest bedroom he slinked upstairs as quietly as he could and silently shut the door behind him while he had a few moments of silence while Mary was at the grocery store with Chris and both the twins and Crish were at a play date. He sighed and opened his bible to his bookmarked page.

_Romans 13:10_

_Love does no harm to a neighbor. Therefore love is the fulfillment of the law._

Joseph snorted bitterly and slammed his Bible shut. Seriously!?

"Is this some kind of joke..?" He asked softly. "What happened to the no gay shit?" He growled but pursed his lips shut as he sighed and reached up to the cross around his neck and caressed it lovingly. "... I know that's not what that scripture means... I just... I need help, Lord... Please... I'm so torn... I love my family I love... I loved... Mary... And I... I'm so confused... I think of nothing but Eros and I know it's wrong, at least that's what you tell us... I-I just I don't know what to do... I just need a push in the right direction... Please... I pray in the name of Jesus Christ... Amen." Joseph said and opened his blue eyes slowly as he stared at the floor flinching as he heard the front door open, Mary had just picked up the kids.

"Joseph I could use a little help!" She howled and Joseph quickly stood up and cantering down the stairs.

"Sorry honey, here let me take those." He said and took the full paper bags out of her arms that were filled boxed wine and snacks for the kids while the midgets brought in the veggies and canned stuff.

"Don't  _honey_ me..." She grumbled quickly and brushed past him.

Joseph watched her retreat into the other room and released a small sigh.

It had been about a month since he had confessed his infidelity to Mary and she seemed to be going backward if anything. The twins stood in the kitchen slightly staring at him, but not in their usual creepy fashion... They had nothing to say and that seemed like the theme of his family the past year but since his affair, it had gotten especially excruciating. He bit his lip and quickly followed after Mary up the stairs to the master bedroom after placing the grocery bags on the island.

He took a breath and rested his hand on the doorknob but leaned in as he heard Mary speaking. Was she on the phone?

"I'm sorry I can't get out tonight... Look you know my husband is back in the house it's not like you can just come stroll in like before..." She scoffed softly, Joseph furrowing his brows. "... Heh, yeah I know... I know... Well, of course, I want it... Yeah... Yeah... Well, look let me just think of an excuse for my husband and I'll be out of here alright? Alright... Bye baby." She giggled and hung up the phone.

Joseph stood there in complete awe... He knew that Mary flirted with other men to score free drinks but he didn't think she'd have the balls to actually cheat on him. Though he knew that was truly stupid to think... He couldn't deny the suspicion he had any more and he felt many things as he stared at the doorknob. He felt sullen, shocked... Betrayed... But mostly... He felt foolish. He had given up everything he had with Eros, all that happiness he hadn't experienced in years only to see that it was a mistake.

_I asked for a sign... Not for my mistake to be thrown in my face... But sometimes that's what you need._

He jumped slightly as the door flew open, Mary stood there, utter horror plastered on her visage as she stared up at him. They didn't have to say anything... Mary averted her gaze and Joseph stared down at her.

"... How long?" He asked and Mary turned her body away. "... How long!?" He snarled, watching his wife jump and turn back to him, he  _never_ raised his voice at her like that before.

"... September." She replied and now it was Joseph's turn to twist his body away from her as he calculated how long his wife has been cheating on him.

"... Ten months... You've been fucking someone else..." He said just below a whisper. "... And you think... Heh, you think you get to have the moral high-ground when I make love to someone, who was giving me what I needed?" He chortled.

"Why do you think I was doing it!?" she hissed and Joseph quickly shut the door to their room after stepping inside so that the kids wouldn't hear this conversation.

"What  _exactly_ did you need? Huh? The attention?" He questioned.

"Fuck you!" Mary cried. "You haven't attempted to touch me since Crish was born! Why is it my fault you made it abundantly clear you didn't want me!?" She asked and Joseph let out a ruckus laugh.

"Are you shitting me!?" He yelled. "How many fucking times have you told me to piss off whenever I've tried to make a little romance? I have to admit, I don't try as much as I should but why the hell would I?" He asked. "You disrespect me in public by whoring yourself out to any man willing to buy you a drink, you disregard me in front of my friends and you do nothing but push me away when we're alone! This hasn't been a marriage for years!" He roared.

Mary stared at Joseph as the two breathed as they both fumed, however, Mary suddenly flung herself at Joseph, wrapping her arms around his neck and slammed her lips against his. The familiar taste of wine and whiskey convincing him to entwine his arms around her hips as she reached up and forcefully began untying the cashmere sweater from around his neck while he reached down and grabbed a handful of her succulent thighs and took her in his arms effortlessly as he carried her towards the bed.

Once she was sat upon it, he reached down and began hastily pulling her skirt up while she sloppily untucked his shirt from his criminally fitted khaki pants. Joseph leaned down and began kissing and biting Mary's neck, hearing her gasp and moan quietly as he reached down and pulled his already full sail shaft. He pulled her close and spread her legs to which she complied greedily by wrapping them around his waist.

He wasted no time in shoved his cock inside his dick hungry wife, wasting no time in being  _gentle_ she didn't deserve that shit and he was in no mood to give it to her that way. Mary gasped and bit her lip but didn't complain as he began thrusting in and out of her at a quick pace, the obscene, wet slapping sounds fueling him as his knuckles turned white from gripping the bed sheets beneath them... But he wasn't thinking of Mary...

* * *

_Joseph!_

_I-It feels so amazing..._

_A-Ah! Joseph!_

_Haha! Stop trying to tempt me..._

_Can we... Do this again?_

* * *

Joseph shuddered and pinched his eyes shut while he thrust... Imagining Eros beneath him... He had to admit, Eros was the most beautiful human he had ever laid eyes on, in his entire life no one had ever come close to him. Even when he and Mary were happy, which was hard to believe, Eros trumped her in all areas, his beauty, his soul... His everything.

Despite knowing this, he pressed his sweat covered forehead against Mary's as he felt the tightening in his gut beginning to overwhelm him with the anticipation of an arriving orgasm. The bed rocked with his movements and he grit his teeth as he shoved himself deep within Mary and released the last of his resolve within her. He panted as the orgasm hit him, Mary moaning loudly as she felt Joseph empty himself within her.

It was then he realized his marriage was doomed, and he should have known sooner but there was nothing. No blissful afterglow, no satisfaction from nothing more than a hate fuck. He breathed and took a moment as he opened his eyes, thankful that it wasn't Eros beneath him, he didn't need to feel this stinging hatred that he felt in that moment... Mary looked up at him and Joseph knew she was thinking the same thing.

He stood up straight and pulled out of her and turned away from her before he hid his length away back into his trousers and picked up his sweater off the floor. He didn't even glance in Mary's direction and said nothing before he retreated from the bedroom, the aura of oppression and the smell of cheap sex was only nauseating him. His kids were his priority now... Not his failed marriage and if Mary chose someone else over her family that was on her, walking downstairs he hung his sweater on the banister as he saw the kids all sitting on the couch and watching TV, thankfully.

"... Hey guys how about we make some dinner?" He questioned lacking enthusiasm.

"Is mommy gonna help?" Christie asked and Joseph's core shuddered.

"... Mommy has plans tonight." He muttered quietly as he turned his cold gaze to Mary as she walked downstairs, purse in hand and coat in the other before she turned her head away and walked out the front door.

He had to make things right with Eros...

* * *

"Don't choke on your burrito." Eros laughed quietly as he watched Amanda scarf down her burrito as he nibbled on his own.

"I won't," Amanda replied, mouth full.

Eros rolled his eyes happily as he looked down at his burrito, exhaling slowly before bringing his head up and looking at the beautiful bay... He would miss seeing this assuming he went to hell for being gay. He snorted quietly, Amanda looking over to him.

"What's up pops?" She asked and Eros raised a brow, looking over to her.

"Oh, nothing... I just can't believe you're moving in a few weeks... Across the country... So far away." He said smiling sadly and looking to the ground.

"Aw, Dad... You know this isn't goodbye right?" She asked, reaching over and rubbing his forearm. "It's just, see you later." She mused and tears welled up in Eros' eyes once more.

"Heh... Remember that, yeah?" He asked, looking over to her and Amanda paused her feast.

"Dad you're kinda scaring me..." She muttered and Eros laughed quietly, wiping away his tears.

"I-It's just the bay... It's so beautiful it's making me emotional and my kid is leaving... It's just a lot."

_And I'm dying..._

"You're such a sap dad." Amanda giggled and leaned her head against his shoulder.

"Yeah... Yeah, I know." He replied.

* * *

"Dad, please come with me..?" Amanda asked, getting ready for the barbecue.

"Amanda... Not this time." Eros stated as he sat on the couch reading a book.

"Dad I know it's awkward-"

"Amanda," Eros said surprisingly serious and Amanda paused, but Eros' expression softened. "... Not this time alright? I want you to go and have a good time and I fully give your permission to tell everyone your dad is just lame and couldn't come this time." He snickered and Amanda couldn't help but grin at the thought of doing just that.

"Fine, I will go up to  _everyone_ and tell them of my lame father, even if it's out of context." She snorted and Eros rolled his eyes playfully.

"Goodbye, Amanda." He stated.

"Oh, do you want me to bring you anything to eat?" She asked.

"Nah I'll make something here, make good choices." He said and Amanda arched a brow.

"Yeah, that'll be so hard with a bunch of dads around all saying the same thing," Amanda said, hearing one last chuckle from her dad before walking out of the house.

* * *

Joseph was flipping burgers and casually speaking to everyone as if nothing had transpired over the last few days, laughing with Craig and Brian but shifting his gaze as Amanda walked into his backyard, the anticipation turning into disappointment at not seeing Eros trailing behind her. Serving his two buddies he then approached the teenage  _adult_ as casual as possible.

Amanda, on the other hand, was just beginning to laugh with Carmensita about how lame her dad was but her smile wavered as she saw Joseph coming to see her. She had conflicting feelings about him, while he was a nice man she was partially spiteful about him hurting her one and only dad... Who was now sitting at home alone, but she reminded herself that this was none of her business and that she needed to stay out of it... But was finding it increasingly difficult to do so. Carmensita thankfully ran over towards Daisy, leaving the two of them alone to talk.

"Hey, Amanda... Where's your dad?" He asked, looking around in the crowd.

"He's um... Not here..." She mentioned and Joseph furrowed his brows.

"Why?"

"... H-He uh... He wasn't feeling too great." Amanda replied nervously.

"Oh that's too bad, I'll bring him some food-"

"He's not hungry." She interrupted but bit her tongue, watching Joseph's expression slightly change into something more serious.

"... Is there something wrong Amanda?" Joseph quietly asked and Amanda, feeling her heart pounding in her throat, unable to mask her malcontent any longer.

"... Yeah, you." She replied, civilly straightly but her expression was sobering and Joseph was actually surprised.

"W-What are you-"

"If you worry about me tarnishing your precious reputation, don't... Luckily for you, doing that would tarnish my dads and I would never do that to him... Thought you would have been the same way..." Amanda stated and Joseph actually took a step back and reached up, rubbing his forehead.

"... He told you." He sighed.

"... No. He didn't have to. All I know is that you hurt him... And I don't like you for that... You know... After my mom died, my dad said he'd never be with anyone again... I thought that maybe, just maybe he might've started to loosen up and you ruined that... Now I'm going to college and he's alone... Thanks for that." She said, resting a hand on her hip as she glared intensely up at Joseph.

"I-I didn't mean to-"

"Don't gimme that... I know my dad would wanna slap the shit out of me for saying these things to you, but he's stood up for me and guided me in so many situations... It's about time someone did the same for him... Excuse me." Amanda said and quickly beelined for the punch.

Joseph watched Amanda storm away and he couldn't, in his heart, be mad at her... He didn't blame her for feeling the way she did. He took a breath and glanced over at his neighbor's house, the only neighbor who wasn't here and he took a moment to scan the crowd, spotting Mary amongst them he did his best to sneak out of the party. He couldn't be selfish anymore.

He jogged across the lawns and out of paranoia looked around, Mary had forbidden him from ever coming over here again after the affair but... Fuck what she thought, but as he stood there he gulped. Was he ready to face Eros? Fuck stop being a coward!

* * *

Eros laid on the bathroom floor, shortly after Amanda left a bout of nausea hit him and he had to run to the bathroom, pouring out the contents of his already almost-empty stomach, the last of his omelet coming up along with the bacon he had made for breakfast. A side effect of cancer... His doctor said after he gave his decision officially she would write him prescriptions for nausea and pain relievers should he refuse treatment but for now he had to suffer until he scheduled his final appointment with her...

_Knock! Knock!_

"Shit..." He cursed, praying that it wasn't Amanda having forgotten her key or anything... He locked the door for a reason.

Pushing himself pathetically of the bathmat on the cold tile floor he groaned, holding his stomach as he sat there on his hands and knees, holding his eyes shut and hoping no more bile would come up, his throat was already on fire.

_Knock! Knock!_

"J-Just a sec!" He called, his voice hoarse and cracking.

Eventually getting onto his feet he leaned against the wall for a few moments before he turned on the sink, filling a small cup up with water and rinsing his mouth out before he approached the door and opened it, his eyes shooting wide open when he saw Joseph standing there.

"... Joseph." He muttered in shock.

"... Hey, Eros." Joseph mumbled.

The two stared at each other in total disbelief... Joseph's eyes were always so intoxicating, even when they had first met. Eros took deep breaths but finally shook his head and brought a hand up to rub the back of his neck.

"U-Uh... What's up? Did Amanda break something?" He chuckled, though his laugh was hollow.

"No... Actually, she and I got to talking..." Joseph replied and Eros, confused for a moment looked back up to Joseph's eyes but seeing the somberness within them his own widened and he turned away.

"W-What did she say?" He asked.

"... Can I come in?" Joseph questioned and Eros swallowed heavily but stepped away from the door so that Joseph could step in.

"... Want some coffee?" Eros asked, wandering into the kitchen.

"No, I'm alright..." Joseph replied as he looked around Eros' house, he remembered seeing a little bit when he dropped Eros' off at home on multiple occasions but he had never been inside before.

The house was cozy, he could feel the warmth here even while Eros was alone, the contrast between this house and his own was staggering, even though his house was larger it was... Emptier. Eros returned to the living room with some tea in his hand and he stopped in the archway as he saw Joseph admiring his home.

"S-Sorry it's not that clean I haven't been feeling great the last few days." He said in an embarrassing fashion as Joseph turned his head from looking at the pictures.

"Don't worry about it... It's really nice... Is this your wife?" He asked and Eros hesitated but walked over and looked at the picture.

Eros couldn't help but smile, the picture was Amanda's birth picture. Both he and his wife sat with Amanda bundled up in a little pink blanket, Eros smiling like an idiot and the woman smiling with tears still streaking down her face... Her chocolate skin, the dimples as she smiled...

"... Yeah. That was the day Amanda was born... Martha insisted that the contractions were false labor..." He chortled richly. "... We were sitting in an IHOP, I paid the check and said: 'Hey honey, aren't you going to bag the rest of your food?' and she says: 'No! And neither are you my water just broke!'... Needless to say, I nearly fainted." He laughed and Joseph smiled, glancing to Eros as he smiled fondly at the memory but it was soon replaced with a longing stare. "... I miss her... Every day." He muttered but took a breath and turned away from the photo and walked over to the couch, Joseph frowned and looked at the picture one more time.

"Pardon if I'm... Being too nosey but... Mind if I ask how she passed?" Joseph questioned, watching Eros tense slightly. "I-If it's too much-"

"No, it's just..." Eros sighed and closed his eyes. "... I was cooking one morning, she was getting Amanda ready for school and suddenly I heard Amanda screaming... I ran into her bedroom and saw Martha lying there unconscious. I told Amanda to go turn off the stove while I called an ambulance... At the hospital, the doctors showed us the results of her MRI when she woke up... There was uh... A tumor... She passed four weeks later right before Christmas." He said and Joseph stared at Eros, unable to comprehend how he was able to deal with this pain every day.

"I-I... I'm so sorry." Joseph said as he walked over to the couch and sat next to Eros who shook his head.

"Not your fault she got cancer... I-I... Never told anyone this, not even Amanda... But when she died... I found out she was six weeks pregnant." Eros chuckled bitterly.

"Jesus..." Joseph said in shock.

"Coming from the Jesus freak that means nothing." Eros joked and turned his tired gaze back to Joseph who couldn't help but chuckle but his expression went back to being neutral. "... I was so lucky to love her Joseph." He said and looked down at the floor.

"... I know how you feel." Joseph murmured as he gazed down at the tired man next to him.

"... So what did Amanda say?" Eros asked, looking up as Joseph averted his gaze.

"She... Said a lot of things... A lot of things that made sense... Eros, I just wanted to say-"

"Don't." Eros suddenly snapped and placed his tea onto the coffee table. "... I didn't let you in here so you could pity me." He said seriously.

"Eros I-I didn't come here to-"

"Then why did you? To make me relive every damn moment on that boat?" He hissed and stood, ready to walk towards the kitchen.

"Mary's been cheating on me!" Joseph said and Eros stopped mid stride and slowly turned back to face Joseph who now had his head in his hands. "... For ten fucking months." He muttered and Eros' hardened expression lightened. "... I came here to say I made a fucking mistake... I shouldn't have let you go I shouldn't've... I know I shouldn't have had sex with you before the papers were filed I know I shouldn't have led you on and made promises I couldn't have kept." He said desperately and wiped the tears forming in his eyes as he felt Eros' weight being re-administered onto the seat next to him. "... I know I shouldn't have just ditched you and acted like nothing changed I'm a fucking coward alright?" He asked and looked over at the ebony haired man who stared at him, mouth slightly agape.

"I was so scared about losing my family and losing the church... I was in such denial that I  _just_ realized that my family is shattered... My wife has been cheating on me I barely know my kids-"

Joseph suddenly felt the comforting warmth of an embrace as Eros held him.

"... You don't have to say anymore..." Eros whispered and Joseph cringed as more tears threatened to fall down his face.

Joseph wrapped his arms around Eros and hugged him tightly, letting out off the grief and sadness that had accumulated over the years of neglect and resentment. Eros ran his hands through Joseph's blonde locks... Remembering the last time he had done this was when Joseph was on top of him. He couldn't help but blush at the memory.

"... I'm sorry Eros..." Joseph sobbed and buried his face into Eros' shoulder.

However Eros' phone began vibrating and he sighed, pushing Joseph away just to check, it was Amanda.

"I-I'm sorry it's my kid." He said and Joseph shook his head.

"D-Don't worry it's fine I need to get my shit together." Joseph chuckled softly and Eros answered the phone.

"Amanda? What's up?" He questioned.

"Hey dad, Carmensita wanted me to spend the night so I can help her learn how to collage, Mat said it was cool." She said and Eros glanced at Joseph before answering.

"Yeah, that's fine..." Eros said.

"Thanks, Dad, I'll come get my stuff soon." She said and hung up, Eros took the phone away from his ear and looked to Joseph.

"Amanda is staying the night at Mat's place with Carmensita..." He explained and Joseph nodded as he regained his composure. "... You can stay in her room if you don't want to sleep at your place..." He offered and Joseph raised his brows.

"You don't mind?" He asked.

"Nah... What Amanda doesn't know won't hurt her... Besides you look like you could get away..." He said and Joseph smiled. "Plus you should get back to your barbecue I'm sure everyone is wondering where you went... Just come back when you're ready... I-If you want..." He said and Joseph smiled.

"That... Sounds nice..." Joseph said and Eros smiled softly, but quickly looked away as he blushed. "Why don't you come with me? Back to the barbecue, I mean." He said and Eros frowned.

"I-I don't know..." Eros murmured.

"Please? I know everyone wants to see you and I hated that you didn't come because of me..." Joseph said and took Eros' hand.

Eros hesitated but he sighed and nodded, caving. Joseph grinned and stood, helping Eros up and leading Eros to his backyard, but Eros hesitated and Joseph paused and looked over to him.

"A-Are you sure I'm welcome? Mary is here isn't she?" He asked and Joseph smiled.

"... Fuck Mary." He said and Eros' jaw fell open but managed to shut it as he followed Joseph inside.

As planned, when Mary saw Joseph walk in with Eros, her gaze was set ablaze and she stormed inside, Joseph walking in behind her. Eros gulped but leaned against the fence.

"Dad?" Amanda asked as she approached him.

"Oh hey, hun," Eros said.

"I thought you weren't coming... You okay?"

"Yeah, yeah everything is fine... Have fun tonight alright?" He asked and Amanda grinned.

"I'm heading home to get my stuff now." She chuckled and jogged out of the backyard towards the house.

However, when he looked back towards the house he shifted uncomfortably and backed up a few steps as he saw Mary angrily advancing towards him, swallowing nervously as she stopped in front of him.

"Congratulations... You can have him..." She sneered quietly but before anything else could be said or violence could be inflicted, Eros sighed in relief when Joseph stepped in front of him.

"... This isn't his fault..." He said seriously, but as Mary's eyes went wide acting like she'd start a scene at being named the reason her husband was cheating on her, Joseph spoke again. "It's mine... Just like your faults are yours..." He stated seriously, but despite silencing Mary her face still turned red and she stalked back into the house.

"... Thanks." Eros said and stepped back from around him.

"No reason to thank me, this isn't your fight." He said and smiled down at the shorted pale skinned man, Eros smiled weakly as people began filing out of the yard.

"Hey Joseph, a great party as usual." Brian laughed and patted the blonde man's shoulder.

* * *

Once the yard was mostly empty, Eros and Joseph slipped out and walked towards his own house, Joseph carrying the same duffle bag that he had grabbed out of his car when he and Eros made their first verbal contact in weeks.

"Hey, Eros... I really appreciate you doing this." Joseph said as Eros shut the front door behind him. "Honestly I'm just... Thankful you even gave me the time of day." He said and Eros bit his lip and faced Joseph.

"Don't mention it... Want something to drink?" He asked.

"You got a beer?" Joseph asked as he sat his bag on an empty armchair, watching Eros smirk lightly.

"The big bad Youth Minister wanting a beer?" Eros retorted.

"There is a reason they called me big and bad," Joseph replied and winked.

"Whatever... Coors alright?" Eros laughed.

"That's fine," Joseph said and sat on the couch.

Sitting on the couch, Joseph waited patiently for his beverage but furrowed his brows when he heard the bottle break in the kitchen, he stood up.

"Hey Eros, are you alright?" He called, but getting no response he quickly walked into the kitchen, only to find Eros unconscious on the kitchen tile. "H-Holy shit Eros!" He gasped and kneeled down, brushing broken glass out of the way and not minding the cuts he was receiving on his hands for doing so. "Eros! Eros open your eyes!" Joseph said panicked as he gently shook the other on the floor.

Eros' eyes fluttered but eventually opened, his breathing slightly shallow but Joseph sighed in deep relief when he saw Eros look up at him.

"J-... Joseph?" He muttered. "W-What happened?" He asked.

"You tell me... I came in here and you were on the floor... Lemme get you up off this broken glass." Joseph murmured and reached down and slowly lifted the thinner male off the floor.

"W-Whoa you don't have to-"

"It's fine... Which room is yours?" Joseph asked and Eros pointed weakly down the hall.

Eros blushed as he leaned against Joseph's shoulder but when he was sat on his bed, he felt the dizziness and tremors begin to vanish.

"Joseph honestly I'm alright... I should go clean up the glass-"

"You  _weren't_ fine Eros... I honestly think I should call an ambulance." Joseph said.

"No!" Eros suddenly yelped and Joseph turned back to him.

"E-Eros you were on the floor! What if you had like a stroke or something dire?"

"Please I just fainted..." Eros muttered.

" _Just_ fainted? Please let me just call someone... What if something is wrong with you?" He asked as he began dialing Eros' landline.

"B-Because I already know what's wrong!" He said and Joseph furrowed his brows, carefully placing the phone back in its cradle.

"... What's the secret Eros?" Joseph murmured.

Eros gripped the sheets as tears began brimming in his eyes once more. He reached up and covered his eyes with one hand while Joseph sat down on the mattress.

"... I'm fucking dying alright? Is that what you wanted to hear!?" Eros asked and Joseph reeled back from the volume and the news.

"W-What do you mean you're dying?" He questioned.

"... I have fucking cancer..." Eros said and looked away. "... Stage four... Nothing they can do but prolong my suffering or let me die with dignity... I've chosen the latter." He mumbled.

"D-... Does Amanda know? She didn't seem like anything was wrong..." Joseph stated, trying to process what he had just heard.

"No... She doesn't... I don't know how to tell her... I haven't told anyone except you..." Eros sighed and shook his head.

"Eros I think you should talk to her about this-"

"Joseph." Eros stated seriously. "... She lost her mother when she was seven due to cancer... Do you expect me to waltz up to her and say, hey babe guess what your dads goin' too! Cancer is a bitch!"

"N-No Eros-"

"Then what should I say? Huh? Honey let's go casket shopping! It'll be so rad!" Eros scoffed.

"Eros!" Joseph snapped watching Eros jump. "... I'm not telling you to be crude but... She's your kid... You saw the pain she went through when... Her mother died... Can you imagine how angry she'd be if you never tell her? She didn't cherish th-... These last months with you because you didn't tell her?" Joseph asked, his voice cracking slightly as the reality of Eros' mortality began sinking in.

This was fucking horseshit. Just when he realized that Mary was the bane of his existence and that... The love that he had begun developing for Eros was real... Eros wouldn't be around for it to blossom into something truly beautiful should he allow it.

"... How... How long do you have?" Joseph asked. "I just realize what an asshole I'm being..." He muttered and Eros shook his head.

"... You aren't... I am... I'm being selfish and pushing everyone away because I can't handle the news I was given." Eros sighed. "... Six to nine months without treatment." He added.

"You're gonna refuse treatment?" Joseph inquired nervously.

"I-I... I want to... I haven't given them a firm answer, my oncologist begged me to talk it over with my family but... I'm gonna make a call." Eros muttered.

"I... Understand." Joseph said and looked away, resting his head in his hands for a moment. "... I feel like such a jackass... I'm sitting here thinking I can't handle this and yet... You're the one being affected..." He muttered and Eros couldn't help but smiled as he rested his back against the headboard of his bed but he then leaned forward and rested his palm on Joseph's shoulder.

"... It's okay... I felt the same way when... You walked away... Now we're even." He chuckled good humoredly, watching Joseph turn his head over to him.

"... Yeah, at least you aren't a selfish prick." He murmured and then turned his whole torso to face Eros.

"... You weren't selfish... I was... Angry but I understood." Eros replied and Joseph shook his head.

Things were silent for a moment, but a content silence... Not an awkward silence. Eros' brilliant green hues met Joseph's striking blue globes and he was quick to look away, but Joseph couldn't wait any longer. He leaned in and pressed his lips against the others who gasped softly but melted into the kiss without resistance... But then Eros quickly separated and turned away.

"J-Joseph..." He muttered.

"Eros... I'm not going anywhere this time... Unless you want me to..." He said and reached in caressing Eros' cheek.

"... Even though I'm dying? I can't ask you to stay with me..." He stated, despite being terrified of the answer.

"... Even though you're dying... The only place I'll be going is the kitchen to grab you some tea if you want..." He said and Eros smiled but felt tears coming anyway.

"I'm so sorry." He whimpered and Joseph tilted his head.

"What? Eros, why are you sorry?" He questioned.

"... Because I hate that you're falling for me... I-I mean I love it but... Not like this... Not now... W-With the cancer a-and-"

"Hey... This isn't your fault... Eros, I realized that... I royally screwed up when I chose someone who didn't love me over someone who showed me true happiness... Even now with... With cancer... You are still just as amazing to me as you were when we were on the boat..." He mentioned making Eros giggle and blush, covering his eyes bashfully.

"... I'd love to go re-christen that yacht before I get too sick... If you want..." He mused watching Joseph laugh.

"... How about we christen this bed first... If you're feeling up to it?" Joseph questioned, watching Eros make a thoughtful expression.

"I think... I'm feeling very up to it... Honestly, the dizziness and everything is gone..." He said and reached in, gently tugging at Joseph's shirt.

Joseph smirked and stood up, facing Eros as he unbuckled his belt and practically ripped it off before unbuttoning his pants and taking off his shirt.

"... Ever been hardened by the word of God?" He questioned and Eros covered his mouth as he both blushed and hooted with laughter.

"That was terrible!" Eros laughed but was silenced as Joseph leaned down and kissed his lips. "... But I think I'm about to be..." He added against Joseph's lips.

"Well... I can't compare myself to God... But I think I'm pretty damn good if I remember correctly."

"I can agree with that." Eros chortled as Joseph pushed his pants off his form while Eros began shrugging his shirt off.

The two men didn't waste time, Joseph laid on top of Eros in the dimmed lights, kissing and sucking on Eros' neck, hearing the other panting quietly and whimpering softly. Eros reached up and ran his hands through Joseph's soft silky hair as their naked bodies mingled beneath the sheets.

"J-Joseph... Ah..." He said and ran his hands over the expanse of Joseph's broad back. "Don't make me wait..." He pleaded.

Joseph cackled softly and reached down, parting Eros' thighs and sinking comfortably into place, but he soon began kissing Eros' chest and further downwards before he reached his navel. Carefully kissing it and wrapping his milky white digits around Eros' already swelling shaft and beginning to caress the length of it. He grinned and kissed the head affectionately. Eros shivered and quickly propped himself up on his elbows to watch excitedly.

The last time the two were together like this, Eros was the one to give Joseph head... He was excited to both watch and get fucked. However once Joseph finally engulfed his member he moaned loudly, thankful Amanda wasn't here. While Joseph had been married for over a decade, he disclosed that he had done some undesirable things in his youth despite him not regretting them at all but he knew he was a bit out of practice but hearing Eros' moans of encouragement he slowly bobbed his head up and down, being sure to keep his teeth from scraping against Eros' dick.

He took a moment to slowly slurp up to the head, hearing a vulgar pop off of the top when he released Eros. He then spat onto his index and middle finger before he started to prod against Eros' entrance, who was basically was writhing at this point.

"J-Joseph!" He cried and felt his face flush entirely. "Please stop teasing me..." He begged.

Joseph smiled wickedly and continued the prodding until he, himself, couldn't handle the excitement. He sat back up and looked over Eros, admiring his beauty, for the first time in a long time, he felt light and happy. Leaning down on top of Eros once more, Joseph connected their lips before he reached down and stroked his own dick quickly before he aimed it towards his target.

After a little bit of struggle, he felt his member surrounded by amazing pressure in which he responded to by shuddering and releasing a labored groan. Eros gasped and cringed, and despite the gracious amount of lube the insertion process was still uncomfortable and his fingers quickly curled inwards on Joseph's back, scratches beginning to be formed on his skin.

Joseph smiled and nuzzled into Eros' neck, smiling and kissing his neck while he pushed in further. Eros grunted and leaned his head back, releasing a few noises of disgruntled pain.

"You alright down there?" Joseph asked.

"Y-Yeah... Y-You're just as big as I remember..." Eros panted quietly and grinned flirtatiously.

"Yeah..?" Joseph asked once his hips were pressing firmly against Eros'.

Eros' grip gradually released upon Joseph's back and he breathed evenly, leaning up and kissing the other's lips with a sweet smile. Deep within he still resented himself for feeling like he had tied Joseph down only to abandon him when the cancer did its job, but for now... He didn't have cancer... Joseph didn't have a wife, nothing mattered but them...

"I hate how fast I fell for you..." Eros whispered against Joseph's lips.

"I don't," Joseph replied and ran one hand over the expanse of Eros' chest. "You are so beautiful..." He said and Eros smiled bashfully.

Joseph then pulled out and pushed back in slowly, watching Eros' face lightly contort with pain, but he was much more relaxed this time around. Eros carefully wrapped his hands up within Joseph's blonde hair. When Joseph pulled out and pushed back inside the third time Eros was calm and while he was still slightly painful he felt the pleasure that overshadowed it. Eros bit his lip gently and relaxed, making the penetration much easier on both of them.

"Y-You don't have to be so gentle you know." Eros chortled softly and smiled as Joseph continued kissing and nipping over the range of his neck.

"I like to... Last time I recall it made you squirm like it's doing now..." Joseph mused against his skin and grinned.

Eros scoffed and reached up, loosely wrapping his arms around Joseph's neck, thankfully though before he considered to beg for more. Joseph began a moderate pace, rough enough to make the bed creak and the headboard to lightly tap the wall. Eros gasped softly and kept his legs splayed while his toes curled and his eyes rolled back into his head from both the slight shock and the overwhelming bliss.

"Joseph..." Eros moaned quietly and tried to focus on keeping his volume to a minimum.

"You don't have to be quiet you know... Didn't you say Amanda was sleeping over at a friends house." Joseph asked with a small grin as the realization hit Eros his eyes flew open and he stared up at Joseph.

"Y-... You're right." He said.

It had been a while since he had been with anyone, he almost never brought people around his kid even when she got older, but whenever he did he always had to keep his voice down to avoid the mere thought of Amanda hearing him having sex. He remembered the first time he heard his parents having sex, the mental picture alone was enough to make him gag so he always tried his best not to make Amanda go through the same thing, so he opted to either do it somewhere else or keep silent whenever Amanda was around. Realizing he had the freedom to release whatever was pent up within him like it was back on the boat he felt even happier.

"Want me to be loud?" Eros giggled.

"Of course, I wanna know I'm doing a good job." Joseph replied.

"You're lucky you're so devilishly handsome." Eros snorted.

"And you said I was terrible..." Joseph stated and Eros couldn't help but laugh as he released another moan, this one much louder than the last. "Just like that..." Joseph said in more of a husky tone.

Eros couldn't help but give in, he was so happy, and for just a moment... He forgot that he was dying. Breathing sped up and creaking became louder, the tapping from the headboard became banging... Eros' moans nearly became screams.

"J-Joseph! I'm gonna cum!" He cried out.

"Don't hold out on my account..." Joseph panted and groaned, feeling his own release beginning to sneak up on him.

The vulnerable noises that Eros voiced made it hard for Joseph to keep his eye on the prize. Looking down at his partner he noticed some very dark marks that would take days to start fading and he was happy about that. However before he could make any more notes of it, Eros arched his back and pinched his eyes shut and feeling his walls beginning to clench around his length.

"I-I'm cumming!" Eros cried out, holding onto Joseph's shoulders for dear life as the white stream of his release shot out of him.

Joseph groaned and thrust through Eros' intense orgasm until he too buried himself deep inside his new found lover and allowed himself to give in to the forbidden pleasure that coursed in his veins. He groaned loudly and laid on top of Eros, not bothering to try and hold himself up while Eros breathed and reached up, weakly combing his fingers through Joseph's hair. He closed his eyes and rubbed Joseph's back carefully and kissing the top of his head.

"... Just as good as the boat?" Joseph asked tiredly in the crook of Eros' neck, smiling at hearing the other chuckle.

"... Even better." He whispered tiredly.

Joseph then lazily rolled off of Eros, carefully pulling out before landing on his back and groaning softly, Eros rolled onto his side and cuddled up to Joseph. Eros was tired... But he had been tired for a while, he sighed and kissed Joseph's chin.

"Want me to still sleep in Amanda's room?" Joseph chuckled.

"... I guess not." Eros said playfully in reply. "You're a good pillow." He exhaled before he shut his eyes and began falling unconscious.

When Eros had fallen asleep, Joseph felt his mind racing and he was exhausted, but more importantly, he was angry... Reaching up he felt the cross around his neck. Of course, Eros was dying... He knew Eros didn't deserve that... With one swift movement, he ripped the cross off his neck and chucked it across the room and looked down to make sure he didn't wake Eros up. Hopefully, Eros wouldn't push him away... Knowing him he would want to lessen the hurt that would be caused by his cancer, they would just have to take this one day at a time and that started with him getting divorce papers and figuring out if he should start a custody battle... He'd have a serious talk with Eros about this soon...

* * *

The next morning, Eros' eyes fluttered open and he smiled when he saw Joseph there... He slowly unraveled himself out of Joseph's arms and slipped a pair of boxer shorts on, however before he could wake up Joseph another bout of nausea hit him and Joseph was awakened with a jolt when Eros slammed the door to the bathroom in panic, not wanting Joseph to see the violent vomiting but he sat up quickly.

"Eros?" He questioned, but hearing the heaving he got up quickly and slipped his underwear on from the night before and running to the bathroom and knocking quickly. "Eros are you alright?" He asked.

"Y-Yes..." Eros managed to say in between heaves, but with nothing in his stomach, bile came up and with bile came a sore throat.

Joseph slowly opened the door anyway and approached Eros as he shuddered with each brutal wretch, carefully rubbing his back. While Eros was mortified that Joseph was witnessing something so ugly he breathed a visible sigh of relief when he felt the contact on his back. After another five gags, the nausea finally started to fade though Eros was so exhausted he couldn't stand up, he flushed the toilet and leaned his head on the toilet seat.

"... You sure you want this to be your daily life?" Eros finally panted and coughed softly, reaching up and taking some toilet paper, wiping his mouth.

"Positive," Joseph said with no hesitation and smiled as Eros turned back in complete shock despite being so tired. "Come on, let's get you back to be-"

"Dad!" Amanda hollered as she walked through the door.

"Fuck..." Eros whispered and Joseph's face began turning red as Amanda walked in and seeing Eros on the floor with Joseph slowly picking him up in their underwear.

"... Oh my god... You two... Last night... Wait oh my god! Did you hurt my dad you bastard!" Amanda screeched.

"W-What? Amanda no!" Joseph said in shock.

"A-Amanda..." Eros muttered, his voice still thrashed from the stomach acid hitting his throat.

"Then why is he on the floor!?" Amanda hollered.

Joseph paused and looked to Eros who then looked back, frowning and looking away. They both knew what needed to be said.

"... Why don't you... Get dressed... I need to talk to my daughter." He said and Joseph helped Eros regained his balance.

"Talk to me about what?" Amanda asked a little softer.

"Are you sure you don't want me..?" Joseph muttered.

"Of course I want you... But... I can- I  _have_ to do this on my own." Eros corrected himself before he looked at Amanda who furrowed her brows.

Eros motioned her over to him so she could help him into the living room after slipping on a shirt.

"Dad, what the hell is going on why can't you walk? What is Joseph doing here!?" She whispered loudly and motioned to Eros' bedroom where Joseph was getting dressed.

Eros didn't know what to say at first, he sighed and frowned, reaching up and running his hand up and combing his hair out with his fingers. However before he could even begin to explain, tears began flowing and Amanda stared in disbelief.

"Dad... What's going on? You're scaring the hell out of me please talk to me." Amanda said, unintentionally tearing up at seeing Eros begin to sob.

"... I-I haven't told you yet but remember that uh... Check up I went to a few weeks ago?" He questioned and fear began etching its way across Amanda's face.

"Dad..."

"... He referred me to an oncologist because I had an ache in my hip that was spreading... They did a biopsy that revealed cancerous cells."

"Dad."

"... I'm so sorry... It's stage four and I'm refusing treatment." Eros said in succession, unable to stop speaking, for if he stopped he knew he wouldn't be able to continue, finally looking up at Amanda who had an unreadable shocked expression plastered on her face but she quickly got up and sprinted to her room, slamming and locking her door.

Joseph then walked out, watching Eros cover his eyes as he sobbed, he sighed and approached him, sitting next to him on the couch and running a hand around his shoulders. His heart breaking as Eros leaned into him.

"She needs time." Joseph said and Eros nodded as he began wiping his eyes.

"I know... Fuck first Martha and now... She'll have no one, Joseph... I was an only child, Martha's only brother passed away three years before her... Both sets of our parents are gone I just... She'll be alone and I can't fucking take it." He explained and Joseph sighed, hugging Eros tightly.

* * *

Joseph left a few hours later to watch the kids for the night while Mary went  _out,_ plus he felt that Amanda and Eros should have a night to themselves while she and Joseph were still on rocky terms. However, whenever Eros approached the door she either wouldn't respond or she would tell him to leave her alone so he stopped trying altogether until she was ready. He was still nauseous so he didn't attempt to make dinner, he left a pizza ad on the counter while he went to bed early.

He laid in bed in the darkness while a migraine tried to form, he was so focused on trying to sleep and get rid of the sickness he felt he didn't hear the door to his room opening. His eyes shot open when he saw Amanda sitting on his bed in the dark.

"Amanda?" He questioned, leaning over and turning on the bedside light, cringing slightly but sitting up, she didn't look at him but he knew she was crying. "... Panda..." He said and reached over, gently touching her back. "... You know I'm not doing this to hurt you." He said and Amanda sniffed, reaching up and covering her eyes, but nodding. "C'mere." He said, turning off the light and laying back down as Amanda cuddled up to him in the bed.

"You and Joseph didn't get any gross sex stuff on this bed did you?" Amanda finally asked, it the first time she had actually spoken to him since the devastating news.

"You can count on it." Eros replied and Amanda groaned.

"You are so disgusting." She said as Eros chuckled weakly but he frowned at her next question. "... What am I gonna do daddy?" She sniffed.

"... We'll figure everything out... I promise... God will have to drag me away from you kicking and screaming..." He whispered and ran his hands through her hair.

"At least you'll be with mom..." She sighed and Eros' heart clenched.

"Yeah... I know... You'll be an amazing photographer..." He mentioned.

"Dad..?"

"Hm?"

"What's going on with you and Joseph?" She questioned.

"... I don't know but... I'm happy..." Eros replied honestly.

"What about Mary?"

"He plans on serving her divorce papers soon... He said he wants to be with me even with the cancer." Eros stated.

"Wow... Uh... How long do you h-have..?" She stuttered.

"... Without chemo? Closer to a year..." He said.

"You don't wanna fight it?" Amanda inquired.

"I could go even quicker with chemo and I don't want to do all that fighting and be miserable if there are no good outcomes... Stage four..." He said and kissed the top of her head.

"... Okay..." Amanda sighed and sniffed.

"Hey... I'm not leaving before you are taken care of... I promise. Try to get some sleep..." He said and wrapped his arms around his daughter.

* * *

Joseph sat in his office, filling out paperwork, Eros was getting his first IV drip today to keep him hydrated, it had been about a month and Eros' body was beginning to backfire on him in little big ways, thankfully his prescriptions were coming in to help with the nausea but the last week he couldn't keep anything down and to keep his body from shutting down he needed fluids in his body. He refused to go to the hospital against his doctors and his daughter's wishes so his doctor decided to send a nurse to the house to give him an IV.

He texted Eros often when he was dealing with his own bullshit but now that Eros was really starting to take a small turn, he was done with the double life with Mary and with Eros. He knew that his new partner was going through a lot since Amanda was leaving in the morning to go to college, but she promised to be back as much as she could, Eros had to beg her not to drop out of college to be with him in his last year but thankfully her scholarship kept her enrolled. Hearing the front door open and shut he frowned and glanced to the manilla envelope. Mary was home and now this was the big step in the right direction but he knew it would be painful, there was a reason Eros offered to watch the kids today and he felt terrible.

Before he could get up and hit Mary with the future events, he watched his wife walk into his office, folding her arms, she was obviously upset about something.

"Where are my kids?" She asked and Joseph's eyebrow twitched.

" _Our_ kids are being watched by our neighbor..." He corrected and with shock he watched Mary's face contort into pain as she looked away.

"... With him?" She questioned.

"... Yes." Joseph replied a little gentler as he stood up, approaching her. "... That a problem?"

"Why would I have a problem with my kids being watched by the man who stole my husband?" She snorted bitterly.

"How long are you gonna blame him? Huh? I haven't once bitched about the man you've been fucking around with why you have to bring up mine?" He asked and Mary grit her teeth.

"Because I got pregnant!" She barked and Joseph raised his brows, looking away for a moment.

"Is it mine?" He asked.

"It was..." Mary replied softly.

"Was?"

"... I got rid of it." She spat, wanting to get one last dagger in him.

Instead of flying off the handle like she wanted, Joseph took a deep breath and closed his eyes for a moment before he re-approached his desk and snatched the envelope before he shoved it at her.

"What's-"

"You know what this is." Joseph interrupted and Mary's eyes widened, obviously, she never expected him to actually serve her with divorce papers.

She hesitantly reached forward and took the envelope before she managed to look up at him. His gaze was cold and unfeeling, begging her to open her fucking mouth again, thankfully for the both of them, she didn't.

"You want war? I can make it war, we can beat each other up and make this real painful Mary, do you want that?" He asked.

"... No." Mary said to Joseph's surprise.

"Then stop being a fucking cunt." Joseph snarled before he turned away from her jaw falling open at his choice of words.

* * *

When Joseph finally got over to Eros' house, he noticed Eros laying on the couch, his eyes shut and his IV already placed inside his elbow as his arm hung off the couch, he was exhausted, his eyes were sunken into his skull but the kids played quietly or watched a movie on low volume. Amanda wandered back into the room from the kitchen, hesitating as she saw Joseph walk in and check Eros.

"He's been really tired... His medication should be here tomorrow, someone will have to sign for it and since he isn't really... Ya know, will you be here?" She asked and Joseph nodded.

"How is he doing?" He asked quietly.

"He's just tired, the nurse that came by said that he was pretty dehydrated but he should be alright assuming he doesn't keep throwing up and he hasn't since the IV has come but he hasn't eaten since yesterday... Hopefully, with the nausea medication, he should be alright to start eating tomorrow." She said and glanced over to her dad.

"Daddy, what's wrong with Mr. Eros?" Christie asked and Joseph paused, looking at Amanda before speaking.

"He's just really sick hun, your grandma will be here to pick you all up here shortly alright?" He asked and Christie nodded before getting up and sitting on the couch next to Eros' sleeping form.

" _He_  is just fine." Eros muttered softly and slowly opened his eyes, looking up at Joseph.

"Dad." Amanda said with some surprise as Eros began slowly pushing himself up.

Joseph quickly went to his aid and helped him sit up but as he predicted he was swift to shoo Joseph's hands away, and Joseph reluctantly took his support away.

"How are you feeling?" He questioned as he sat next to the tired man.

"... How do I look?" Eros murmured.

"... How are you feeling?" Joseph replied with a nervous chuckle and Eros scoffed, rolling his eyes but smiled weakly, he needed that.

"I'm exhausted, all I want to do is sleep no matter how desperately I try to stay awake..." He replied.

"Mr. Eros look!" Christie yipped as she crawled towards him, a paper in her hands.

"Christie leave Eros-"

"Show me, sweetie." Eros cut Joseph off and eyed him in a warning fashion, Joseph quickly put his hands up in surrender.

"You were asleep but I drew this..." She said and gave the picture to Eros, it was a black haired stick figure holding hands with a smaller blonde haired stick figure, both smiling under a happy sun.

"I love it Christie thank you..." Eros chuckled.

"How were they?" He asked.

"Angels as usual." Eros mused.

"As usual?" Joseph asked in surprise.

"As usual." The smaller of the two snorted. "They're always amazing... They listen, they're quiet, but thank Amanda I was pretty much gone the entire time." He said and nodded up to his daughter who leaned uncomfortably against the archway from the kitchen to the living room.

Joseph turned his attention to Amanda who looked up at her name being said, he then stood up and took out his wallet.

"Mind if I pay you?" He asked and Amanda raised her brows.

"N-No Joseph it's fine you don't have to pay me." Amanda said and shook her head.

"Amanda you have a long drive tomorrow... Figured you might want some money for food or gas." He said and smiled and Amanda opened her mouth to protest but nothing came out, Joseph then smirked and handed Amanda fifty dollars.

Eros smiled sadly but he mouthed the words 'thank you' silently and Amanda then gulped.

"Th-Thanks Joseph." She sighed and smiled at him.

"Don't mention it kiddo." He replied and rested a hand on her shoulder before he walked to Eros' side and sat by him, wrapping an arm around his shoulders. "My mom will be here soon so you don't have to worry about the kids... I really appreciate you taking them while I served Mary." He said softly and Eros' brows rose.

"Oh, how did that go? I totally forgot..." Eros stated.

"It... Wasn't great... I'll tell you after the kids are gone." He said and Eros nodded in an understanding fashion.

"Daddy, can we spend more time with Mr. Eros?" Christie asked and Joseph didn't have words.

He wanted to say yes because his kids hadn't looked this happy in months but he couldn't say yes due to Eros' health decline. Thankfully Eros spoke up.

"Of course you can, hun." Eros said and Christie smiled before hugging Eros, careful to avoid the chord coming out of his vein.

It was then that there was a knock at the door. Joseph jumped up and answered it, the woman that walked through the door looked around, somehow she was exactly what he pictured for Joseph's mother, proud, vain... Religious... The foreboding cross around her neck made Eros realize the pressure Joseph had to be straight...

"Hello, mother." He greeted warmly.

"Hello dear." She replied, not coldly but distantly... She was a rather intimidating woman and Eros could only imagine how hard she was to impress.

"Hi, grannny!" The kids chimed but the hard frown lines were alleviated as she smiled towards her grandchildren.

"Hello, my lovelies." She said and glanced to Eros.

"Mother this is my-..." Joseph stopped, the fear in his eyes enough to break Eros' heart.

He stood up despite his lightheadedness and queasiness he held out his free hand, letting his IV arm slowly drop to his side.

"I'm Joseph's friend, I was watching his kids while he was working with Mary... Sorry, my house is a mess I'm sick." He said and smiled, Joseph sighed in relief, but his mother's gaze hardened, not daring to take his extended hand.

"I know who you are." She replied and Joseph went pale and Eros' eyes widened, dropping his hand as her icy glare landed onto Joseph. "... Mary called." she added and Amanda raised her brows, going to stand next to her dad, gently supporting him as she wrapped his free arm around her shoulders.

"M-Mom she-"

"I don't want to hear it... You should be ashamed..." She sneered and Joseph looked down to the floor hanging his head in shame.

"Just a second," Eros said, trying to keep his cool.

"You should be too... Tainting him with your  _filth_." She snarled and before Eros could clap back Amanda spoke.

"Shut up you old hag." She spat. "I don't care if you don't agree with gay people but don't you  _ever_ think you can come in here and insult my father... Now you take your old, withered, dried up ass out of here before I break your hips, got it?" She asked and stepped towards her but Eros quickly caught her by her shoulder and pulled her back.

"Well... Considering how  _they_ raise their children I hope Mary wins custody." She huffed as her cheeks burned with embarrassment before quickly taking the kids out of the house.

Both Eros and Joseph were dumbfounded while Amanda stood there fuming but she looked to Eros who was staring at her.

"... I-I'm sorry." She said to Joseph but Joseph could only snicker.

"Don't be... I've wanted to see that deer in the headlights look on her for years... I just never had the balls to try it." Joseph said and turned to Amanda, then looked to Eros. "I-I'm sorry about that I should have defended you... With her I just... I become a coward all over again." He muttered and Eros shook his head, smiling and resting a hand on Joseph's chest, who reached up and took it.

"Don't worry I get it... She scared me too I think she's a descendant from Medusa." Eros chortled and Joseph laughed, but before anymore joking could commence, Eros' legs gave out and Amanda gasped but managed to hold him.

Joseph then carefully helped Amanda get Eros back onto the couch.

"I-I'm sorry." Eros apologized but Amanda shook her head.

"Don't be dad..." She said and took a tissue from the coffee table and wiped Eros' forehead free of the sweat that had developed due to standing up, the effort to stand alone was exhausting now, the medication would help though he just had to hold out until tomorrow when it was delivered.

"Can I get you anything?" Joseph offered.

"... I'd like to try and keep some tea down if you don't mind." Eros said and smiled.

"You got it." Joseph replied before walking into the kitchen, Eros then looked to Amanda with a grin.

"... I'm proud of you." He said and Amanda sat next to him.

"I know I should be too and I am but... I just feel sad for Joseph, it's no wonder why he's so scared." She muttered and Eros sighed, nodding.

"Religion has a way of tearing people apart but just remember it also has a way of bringing people together... Just because I... We, Joseph and I, are together that doesn't mean you can't explore other religions I would never forbid you from that and just because of one old woman that doesn't mean you should swear off religion." He explained and Amanda nodded.

"I know... Thanks, dad." She said and leaned against him as Eros kissed her head.

"You're welcome... Are you all packed?" He questioned.

"Pretty much, wanna see my room? It's weird all empty." She said and Eros hesitated.

Did he want to see it..?

"Sure... Help me up hun." He said and Amanda stood in a speedy fashion, helping Eros up and wrapping a hand around his waist and wrapping his arm around her neck.

The two meandered slowly to Amanda's room with Eros' IV in tow, and Eros slightly faltered when he saw the purple walls no longer lined with posters, her bed having just her pillow and a blanket upon it, no sheets, her desk bare and her dresser hollowed out. He glanced to the closet only a few stray coat hangers. He took a breath and sat on the bed looking around and rubbing his legs slowly as he had no idea what to say.

"... Dad?" She asked softly and Eros turned his attention back to her. "... You okay?"

"I-I... No." Eros chuckled honestly and looked away, trying to stop tears from coming.

"Aw, dad..." Amanda sighed and sat next to him, hugging him tightly.

Joseph then walked into the room, smiling at seeing Amanda and Eros, a cup of tea in his hand. Eros looked up and smiled, tears still welling in his eyes but he had a thankful distraction. He took the tea in his slightly trembling grasp due to the tremors. He took a sip and sighed in relief. It had been the first thing in days besides water that he had taken into his system, he could only hope that he didn't throw it up.

"You look like you're all ready to go." Joseph said and looked around the room.

"Well... No." Amanda replied and Joseph looked to her. "I-I was I just... Now with... Everything I don't wanna do it anymore." She chuckled and Eros shook his head.

"You're going." He mused and Amanda snorted before she looked to Joseph.

"Thanks for... Taking care of my dad... I was suspicious at first but... You've really stepped up and no one asked you to." She said and Joseph smiled.

"You don't need to thank me..." Joseph said and grinned.

"I suppose there is one more thing to give you..." Eros said and looked at Joseph.

Joseph nodded before he brought in a small wooden box, Eros had planned on giving this to Amanda after she graduated college but... Since he wouldn't be around.

"What's this? You've already given me the car what else could this be?" She asked and smiled.

"... It's your mothers." Eros replied and Amanda's expression dropped into a serious, almost scared fashion.

She took the box slowly and gulped before she opened it, inside were many photos and a small ring box as well as an envelope having Amanda's name on it. She began looking through the pictures, most of which were with her deceased mother and father, smiling. She grinned as she saw the wedding photos, Eros and her mother's first dance, their smiles and looking at another picture of their kiss at the wedding.

"... Your mom was so beautiful." Eros said and Joseph peered over Amanda's shoulder and looked.

"You look just like her." Joseph said and Amanda smiled at the thought.

"I do?" She asked.

"You do." Eros agreed.

"What's this?" Amanda asked and took out the ring box.

"... Your mother's engagement and wedding ring." Eros said and smiled, Amanda then opened the box and gasped softly.

"Dad it's beautiful." She said and took the engagement ring out, it was a purple cut stone adorned with opal gems, Eros looked at it fondly.

"Your mom was never a traditional girl... I remember for saving that for... God two months." He chuckled and Amanda looked over to Eros.

"How long were you two together before you popped the question?" She asked.

"Hm... I think we had known each other for three years I met her in college in my elective writing class, we had to swap our papers with someone in class to grade them cause my teacher wanted to see both how good our writing skills were and how easily we could detect mistakes. I handed mine to your mother and she just ripped into me about how I was shit at writing." He laughed. "So for the rest of that semester I wanted to prove to her I wasn't stupid. When the Semester was over and we wouldn't see each other anymore, I handed her another paper and she looked at me like I was stupid... But she read it and we had been together ever since." He stated.

"What did the paper say?" She inquired curiously.

"I told her that she was a bitch to impress but if she was willing I could impress her in other ways." He said and grinned.

"Oh, gross dad." Amanda groaned.

"And you know, she still corrected my punctuation... But don't judge your mom she played hard to get but... Man, I never regretted a thing." He said and smiled before delicately grabbing the ring and looking at it for a moment. "... We got pregnant on our wedding night," he said and Amanda shook her head, her face scrunching up.

"Gross I don't wanna hear it." She scoffed and Eros laughed.

"She left a note for me on the counter when I got home from work... She was in the shower and it said: 'We did it, babe!'." He said and took a breath before placing the ring back into the box and giving it to Amanda. "You can do whatever you want with it... Sell it, wear it, save it for your kids... We just wanted you to have it." Eros said and Amanda looked offended for a moment.

"I would  _never_ sell it." She scoffed and walked over to her trunk and placed it into it and closing it up. "The envelope?" She questioned and opened it.

_My Dearest Amanda,_

_You may not remember much about me and that's okay... Your dad is sleeping in the chair next to my bed as I'm writing this... I just wanted you to know how lucky you are to have a man like him in your life. He's always been so gentle and strong but... I'm afraid that after I'm gone he'll need someone to be strong for him, no pressure._

_You are the joy of our lives and I am so thankful to have had you in my life. I hope you never resent me for not being there but I know your dad will take great care of you. We love you so much Amanda-Panda... I love you, and I know you are doing great things... I just wish I could be there in person to see them, but I promise I will be looking down and I will be so proud..._

_Your mother,_

_Martha_

"Oh, dad..." She sniffed and wiped the developing tears in her eyes. "D-Do you think mom would be proud?"

"I know she is."

* * *

Joseph loaded the trunk and bags into the back of the car for Amanda as Eros leaned in the doorway, he was thankful that a nurse came by yesterday evening to remove the IV so he wasn't dragging it around. Tears were already flowing down his cheeks and he had a hand covering his mouth as he watched Amanda hug Joseph tightly, she then approached Eros, not even able to make it up to her dad before bursting into tears as she hugged him.

"I'm scared, dad..." She sobbed.

"I am too..." Eros whispered and buried his face into her shoulder, hugging her as tightly as he could, not knowing if he could let go... It would possibly be one of the last time he would see her. "Call me as soon as you get there okay..? And every minute after that." he sniffed and forced himself to gently push her away, resting his hands on her shoulders.

"I will." She replied, wiping her eyes as Joseph took his place by Eros' side. "And Joseph if you mistreat my dad I'll hurt you." She said, though she wasn't very convincing, Joseph smiled anyway.

"I know." He said and wrapped a comforting arm around Eros' shoulders.

Watching Amanda drive away was the hardest thing Eros had ever had to overcome... But he managed to keep his eyes clear enough to see her wave. They both waved back before Joseph scooped Eros into his arms and take him back inside.

* * *

It was September the following year, Amanda had already finished her first year of college and had just gone back for her second year about a month before... Eros' body was giving out and Joseph feared every day he would wake up and Eros wouldn't... The pain medication and the nausea pills were beginning to stop working and Eros was weak. Some days were better than others but recently now, he was curled up in bed using multiple blankets due to his hands and feet being under oxygenated. Joseph ran a hand through the expanse of Eros' hair.

"Joseph..?" Eros asked weakly through the oxygen mask that had been delivered three weeks before.

After he contracted pneumonia twice over the last few months due to his compromised immune system, Eros' breathing had never been the same. Eros reached up and carefully began pulling off the mask, but Joseph quickly reached up and stopped Eros from taking it off as he sat next to him.

"Sorry I... Didn't mean to wake you..." Joseph muttered and looked away, it killed him to see Eros so sick... What was even worse was that he knew this was Eros' decline... He shouldn't ask for more, the doctors said he should have died months ago... But he prayed every day, begging for more time.

"What's up Joseph?" Eros asked, slowly pushing himself up and leaning against the headboard.

"Nothing I just..." Joseph trailed off and held his head in his hands for a few moments.

Eros frowned and took off his oxygen mask, leaning forward and wrapping his arms around Joseph's shoulders and leaning his head against Joseph.

"... I know." Eros whispered. "I'm afraid too..." He sighed and Joseph sat up, wrapping his arms around Eros and pulling him close.

"I love you so much..." Joseph said and swallowed the lump in his throat.

Eros smiled, the two had been living together for a year now, Joseph used Amanda's room as an office but made sure to keep her bed there for when she came home which was whenever she could. Mary got primary custody and he paid child support willingly, he didn't fight due to Eros' sickness... He decided that after Eros was gone he would take Mary back to court, knowing she was spreading filth about him.

"I love you so much more..." Eros said back and quelled Joseph's thoughts about Mary, they were officially divorced, there was no need to think about her any longer.

Joseph just hung on for dear life... Never wanting to let go... He just held Eros, hoping he could keep the other here with him.

* * *

Amanda sighed as she took notes in her photography class, every day she reminded herself that this was all worth it... Every boring second. She hadn't gotten good sleep since coming back to school in August... It was October now, her dads birthday was soon and she couldn't wait to go back home to see him, her teachers already knew of his dire situation and tried helping her as best they could when it came to her going to visit him.

For a moment she opened a tab on her internet browser and began searching around for gifts for Eros until her phone began ringing... She blushed out of embarrassment as she quickly took it out to silence it... But it was Joseph, he never called during her lectures.

Her heart stopped...

This was it... This was the call.

"Hello!?" Amanda almost hollered into the phone, students staring.

"Amanda are we interrupting your phone call?" Her professor asked with slight distaste in his mouth but Amanda's expression changed and she hung up.

"I-... I-..." She stuttered, but she said nothing, packing her bags and sprinting out of the class as fast as she could.

She drove home that night, not daring to stop no matter how tired she was. The thirty-hour drive would not stop her, glancing at the dashboard, it was about three in the morning, she was so tired... However looking back up to the road she gasped and slammed onto the breaks as a deer crossed the road. She braced for impact, but as it never came she opened her eyes she looked up, the deer was staring at her, unmoving, Amanda panted and gulped before laying on the horn, watching it continue to stand there.

"Shit... Shit!" Amanda yelled, and suddenly the dam broke.

She was sobbing, screaming, unable to control her emotions as she began coming to the realization that her dad was gone... Joseph sounded... Numb. He told her how he passed away quietly that night in his arms while they slept. He woke up and... Eros didn't. He was dead.

"Why!? Why goddammit!?" Amanda cried but as she looked up the deer had vanished, she gasped softly and for a moment she was distracted as to how she hadn't noticed that the stag had disappeared.

She breathed and sniffed, leaning back and regaining herself before beginning to calmly drive forward again, she needed to find a place to sleep... If anything that was a sign...

* * *

Joseph walked into the kitchen, his first instinct was to get Eros some tea but-... Joseph felt the slam hit his gut and he shut his eyes, taking a deep breath, he had been stoic for the last day and a half since Eros' body was removed from the house. He had informed the neighborhood of his passing and everyone was shocked and heartbroken, they demanded funeral invitations when it was settled.

However hearing the lock turn he raised his brows and walked into the living room just as Amanda barged in, she stopped in her tracks as well, staring at him, her eyes bloodshot... They didn't need to say anything... Amanda's lip quivered and just like that ran into Joseph's arms. She sobbed as he hugged her he wasn't surprised to see her... Even though she didn't say anything when he told her of Eros' passing, he knew she would be there.

"I know... I know..." Joseph cooed and rubbed her back.

"... I-I... I wasn't ready..." She whimpered.

"... I wasn't either..." Joseph whispered and reminded himself to be strong so Amanda didn't have to be.

Joseph got Amanda some tea and sat with her on the couch, watching TV silently, not knowing what else to do, Joseph hadn't been back in the bedroom since Eros had passed... He couldn't. Every time he caught himself in the doorway his feet stopped moving.

"Joseph..?" Amanda murmured quietly.

"Hm? You hungry?" He asked.

"No... I just... Was he in pain..?" She squeaked and Joseph painfully thought of their last night together.

"No... Actually, he was pretty happy I-... I think he knew." He sighed and leaned his head back.

"I-If it's too much-"

"No, it's not that... He'd been having a lot of trouble breathing the last few days and he was in a lot of pain but... Not the other night..." He said and smiled sadly. "I went to give him his pain meds and... He said no, that he felt fine... He made sure that he said he loved me and... That was it." He said and took a long breath.

"... I'm sorry for your loss." Amanda muttered.

"... I'm sorry for yours." He replied.

* * *

Joseph sat in the church, the services were over and Amanda was leaving in the morning... He was in the front, Eros' coffin closed and the church was deafeningly quiet. Amanda was outside saying goodbye to guests, he just... Didn't have the strength. He slowly stood and walked up to the coffin, running his hand along the delicately carved mahogany, they were able to afford a nice service due to the fact that Eros had taken a small portion of his life insurance out just weeks before he died for his funeral... Yeah... He knew... He made sure he wasn't a burden even in death.

"Hey..." The familiar voice sent chills down his spine and he quickly turned around to see Mary, she was wearing black... Had she been there the entire time..?

"... What are you doing here..?" Joseph asked civilly.

"... I heard from Robert about his passing... And believe it or not, I'm here to see how you're doing..." She replied and nodded.

"Oh... How human of you." Joseph said in slight good humor before he sighed and turned back to the coffin.

"... I'm sorry... About... All of this." Mary then said, earning an honest-to-god dumbfounded look from Joseph. "... I know I haven't been easy to live with I... Was just so damn angry that... You were happy and I wasn't." She said and Joseph approached Mary.

"What are you talking about?" He asked.

"... Even when I had the affair I... Wasn't happy... I know you were trying and I knew I had no right to be angry I just... Saw the way you looked at him," she said motioning to the coffin. "I just... I wanted that... I missed that." Mary admitted and Joseph frowned.

"... Why couldn't you have just told me..?" He asked seriously.

"... Cause I knew I was wrong." Mary sighed and Joseph felt a large weight lift from his shoulders.

"Thank you for that." Joseph said and rested a hand on her shoulder before he turned back to view the coffin, feeling her take his hand.

"... Did you... Want to come to dinner with the kids and me?" She asked, Joseph, turned to her but glancing up and spotting Amanda peering in from the door way he shook his head, while he wanted to spend time with his kids... There was another kid who needed him even more, and he would never give Mary hope of getting back together.

"I want to be with the kids but... Not this time." He said and nodded towards Amanda who blushed for being caught spying.

"O-Oh... I see." Mary said and nodded to Joseph. "See you soon then..." She mentioned and ducked out of the church.

Amanda then approached Joseph as he stared at the coffin.

"Y-You didn't have to do that..." She said softly.

"I know... Let's go, kid." Joseph said before swinging an arm around Amanda's shoulders before leading her out of the church.

* * *

Joseph laid a blanket over Amanda as she slept on the couch, turning off the TV, he figured he should put away the food the neighbors sent over for sympathies. After stuffing the fridge he glanced to the time, it was about midnight... He turned to the couch, Amanda was still asleep and he didn't want to wake her but... Looking towards Eros' bedroom he gulped and trudged to the doorway he reached in and turned on the light... Everything was the way it was before Eros passed... It had been about a week now... The room still smelled like him...

Slowly closing the door behind him he sat on Eros' side of the bed... He looked around and fidgeted, leaning against Eros pillow, but hearing a small crumpled noise he raised a brow and picked up the pillow... An envelope... There was something inside it. Taking out the paper he opened it up, just Eros' hand writing almost pushed him off the edge.

_Joseph,_

_I'm writing this because... I know it won't be long. I'm so tired, there have been times I just want to give in... But I look at you and I see every happy memory and I see a reason to stay. I love you so much and while I will always cherish my time with Martha, never once have I ever regretted being with you, even when you went back to Mary, I don't regret it at all. I love you more than anything and I have one request that I know I have no right to ask you..._

_Amanda, as you know... Has no one once I leave. I know she's not your kid and I know I shouldn't ask, but... If you could just check in on her every once in a while? Send her a text or call her it doesn't need to be much. I just want her to know someone cares._

_You have done nothing but support me and been so good with me through this journey but as it comes to an end... I just wanted you to know how much I love you and, I found this necklace while cleaning a couple months back, whether you lost it accidentally or... On purpose, I don't want you to give up the church because of me, I know that the church is your one of your true loves. I love you too much to let you throw that away._

_I'm getting too tired to write, I need to wrap this up before I start to cry again... I love you, Joseph... I love you so much. I was just as lucky to love you as I was lucky to love Martha... Some people are lucky enough to find one love... I found two._

_Love with all my soul,_

_Eros_

Joseph didn't realize before he was done that tears were running down his face, he swallowed and reached into the envelope again, taking the cross necklace that he had thrown across the room. He was still angry, he was bitter... But... He put it back on and ran his thumb over it. He stood and kneeled down in front of the bed, but before he could begin to pray, the tears kept coming, and soon he was sobbing. It was the first time that he had broken down. He was so busy being strong that he had forgotten to feel...

"Goddammit..." He whimpered and felt bile rising up into his throat.

He hadn't cried when Eros' body was taken away, he didn't cry at the funeral... The realization that Eros was dead...

"Joseph..?" Amanda asked softly as she opened the door, seeing Joseph on the floor, he gasped and turned to her.

Once again, nothing had to be said... Amanda kneeled down and hugged Joseph tightly.

"... It's okay. I know how you feel." Amanda sighed and Joseph buried his head against her shoulder as he trembled.

Amanda realized right there that Joseph had taken all of it... All the grief, all the pain... And stored it deep down so that she had a pillar to lean on.

"I-I miss him... I miss him so much..." Joseph wept.

"I miss him too..."

* * *

Amanda took a breath as she stood backstage, fumbling with her cap gently and biting her lip. She aced all of her exams and was now receiving a Bachelor of the Arts degree... Her dad had been gone for about two and a half years and while the pain never went away... It got easier to deal with and with her degree, she was excited, sad and nervous at the same time until her phone buzzed.

_Make sure you smile for the camera, no pun intended!_

Joseph's message quelled most of her anxieties and she sighed in relief.

"Now for the students who are gaining a Bachelors of the Art's degree." The dean said and she held her breath as name began getting called.

"Now for a student graduating with a Bachelors of the Arts degree, majoring in Photography and top of her class, Amanda Tyndall."

Amanda began walking out on stage, looking out, seeing Joseph filming her, she smiled as tears filled her eyes but she managed to keep them in, she took her degree and shook the hands of her professors and the dean. She glanced up at the sky for a moment before she grinned at Joseph and waved at him who gave her a thumbs-up while his four kids cheered for her.

As the ceremony ended she surfed through the crowd until her eyes landed on Joseph and the kids, she beelined towards him with a giant smile before she collided with him and hugged him tightly. The two had kept close in contact even after Eros had passed, now after years she still came home to Joseph and had holidays with him and the kids, to which he got custody of and she called him once a week. He was honestly a second father to her... He traveled all the way out here to see her graduation ceremony.

"I'm so proud of you." Joseph said and grinned.

"You are..? Do you think... They are?" Amanda asked, still finding it hard to mention her parents as she wiped her eyes silently to keep from bawling.

"... I know they are... Know any good burrito places around here?" He asked as he wrapped an arm around her shoulders as the kids jumped all over her to get hugs.

"I do actually... But none will ever be as good as the bay." She said and smiled before the group walked off of campus grounds, Amanda held her degree with one hand, and Joseph's in the other.


End file.
